Don’t Get It Twisted: I’m Not Who You Think I Am

I always gain perspective when I meet and speak to women who look like they have it all together, but are suffering and struggling and facing daily challenges we don’t even know about.

There are people in this world who assume that because you drive a nice car, wear nice clothes, are married with kids and work a 6-figure job that you have it all together and that you’re living the fabulous life. But in a lot of cases, nothing could be farther from the truth and I am no stranger to this phenomenon. Research even shows that greater job authority among women often results in a greater chance of depression.

Read: Depression hits women in top jobs harder than men, study says [USA Today]

I’ve had colleagues tell me how everything I’m doing looks on point and well put-together, but there’s still a lot of learning and growth going on; mistakes being made and trials and tribulations to conquer and even then, I’m sure I’ll still have a way to go before reaching ultimate success.

I always refer to 3 of my television sheroes when I think of ‘Fab Life Women’ who deal with constant struggle and even torment, but seem to be living the life that every woman wants to have. Yes I realize they are only TV characters, but their TV lives are not far off from the lives women live every day.

CASE 1: Annalise Keating, How To Get Away With Murder

High profile criminal lawyer, living in a brownstone where the main floor is converted into her home office and can dress to impress. She is clearly making the big bucks, wins almost all of her cases, but finds herself dealing with a cheating (now dead) husband, has unresolved mom issues, she has a love hate thing with her side man and she is under the stress of constantly having to protect her students…one in particular who I think we might learn is a son she gave up years ago.

CASE 2: Olivia Pope, Scandal

High profile crises management expert with her own business on top of being Communications Director to the President of the United States. If you watch Scandal, I don’t have to tell you about her wardrobe, her immaculate apartment and her office is a rustic, contemporary-styled space with the bay windows I dream of for my own office. Despite the perception of a wonderful life, Olivia is (or was) having an affair with the president, recently had an abortion, is conflicted by what she wants in love, her father and mother are ‘terrorists’ so to speak and one of her employees is a recovering torture/killing addict.

CASE 3: Mary Jane Paul, Being Mary Jane

A successful and beautiful television reporter, making good money as we can see by her gorgeous home, nice car, and stylish wardrobe. Her family and friends are loving and supportive, but poor Mary Jane struggles with love and has gone to the lengths of almost snagging a married man and stealing a man’s sperm. I haven’t seen any of season 2 yet, but from what I hear in the previews, she had an abortion at some point and so the story goes.

In Sandra Gabriel’s case, I’ve been running my business for over 10 years, I’ve had 50+ clients and some say I’m the best. I have a pretty good sense of style if I do say so myself, I travel quite a bit and drive the car of my dreams…but that same car has a number of problems that now needs fixing, there are clients who I’m sure will say they’ll never work with me again, at any given time in the year I could be rolling in the money or down to my last $20. And as for my love life…I’m not even gonna go there…I’ll save that for my book 😉

The moral of the story is, you’re going to make mistakes and face challenges but that doesn’t mean you stop going. At the end of the day life goes on and it’s not about the hand we are dealt, but how we play the hand that matters. Regardless of what’s going on in your life, you can choose how you want to feel about it and stop looking at other people’s life and thinking they have it all…in most cases, they are just as miserable as you, no matter how much money they make or what they wear or what car they drive or whether or not they are married with kids. You just have to do you boo.