I had been hearing a lot about Ava DuVernay before I decided to look her up. I got on her Instagram, double-tapped some photos and even commented on one of them. I don’t remember what my comment was, but I remember that she never responded. The more I saw her name come up in the news and social media, the more it reminded me that I never heard from her; no ‘thank you’ for commenting, not a ‘Like’ on my comment, not a view on my page or an email asking more about me. The feeling of rejection and being outright ignored began to build up inside of me and it became clear, she doesn’t like me.
I know how fabulous I am: smart, beautiful, mindful, conscious, courteous, respectful and Godly above all else. How could she not like me? I was certain that if she just got to know me, she would become aware of my fabulousity and wouldn’t be able to stay away. So my conclusion then is that it all boils down to this; she doesn’t like me because she doesn’t know me….which in turn means that she could not possibly decide if she likes me or not. Furthermore, I can not decide whether she likes me or not.
At this point you are probably saying: “Sandra has serious issues,” but before you judge me, you should know by now that you have found yourself in the middle of a teaching moment.
In the last year, I have heard stories of people taking ‘radio silence’ personal and concluding that someone doesn’t like them when the person has no clue who they are. How can I decide that I like or don’t like you, when I know nothing about you? Like it or not, people are busy. The list of priorities mounting against us is so long that we barely have time for ourselves or our families, let alone for people we never met.
Tell me if this has happened to you: you see an email or text, you read it and decide to respond later or when you have a minute and then later becomes tomorrow, tomorrow becomes a week, a week becomes a month and a month becomes never. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t like the person, it’s just that life happens.
So to respond to the question of why Ava doesn’t like me, or for you, it might be why that person you emailed last week doesn’t like you, the answer is, they don’t know you. Which puts you way down on the list of priorities, especially if you are not contacting them regarding a life or death matter. My suggestion, if you really want to get their attention, is to be persistent. Send a follow-up message, see if you have a mutual friend that can connect you or if you want to get really drastic, make a video calling them out and tag them on it. Chances are, if you have to get that extreme, then they probably don’t like you.
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